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Joke Of The Week

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On a weekly basis (hopefully - though my definition of a week my be slightly off relative to others) I will post the Joke of The Week. Where appropriate (i.e., known) I will reference the source, else the assumption is the joke is in the public domain.
- 18 January, 2021
Though not a joke, per se, a friend sent this to me and I thought it was funny

Moses Lost In The Desert
- 01 January, 2021
Two guys on really high scaffolds are painting the ceiling of a church. They look down and see a little old lady kneeling in prayer right below them. One of the painters decides to have a little fun and in his deepest voice says, "This is Jesus talking." Nothing happens. So he says again, "Woman, this is Jesus speaking to you." Finally the little old lady, still looking straight ahead, says, "Be quiet! I'm talking to your mother!"

(In honor of our Blessed Mother whose feast day, Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God , we celebrate today. Forgive me, Mother Mary, I found this funny.)

(Source: "The Second Book of Catholic Jokes", by Deacon Tom Sheridan)
- 23 August, 2020
A bishop, a priest and a deacon, were about to be executed for preaching the Gospel in a foreign land. They bring out the bishop first and the guard shouts, "Ready....Aim...." and suddenly the bishop yells, "EARTHQUAKE." When everyone looks around, the bishop runs off.

Next they bring out the priest. The guard shouts, "Ready....Aim...." and suddenly the priest yells, "TORNADO." When everyone ducks, the priest runs off.

By then, of course, the deacon had it figured out. They bring him out, and when the guard shouts, "Ready....Aim...." suddenly the deacon yells, "FIRE!"

(Source: "The Book of Catholic Jokes", by Deacon Tom Sheridan)
- 10 August, 2020
  - A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
    
    One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
    (Source: "The Book of Catholic Jokes", by Deacon Tom Sheridan)
- 31 July, 2020:
  - It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, little Jonnie stayed home with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Little Jonnie asked them what they were for.
    
    "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his father told him.
    
    "Wouldn't you know it," little Jonnie fumed, "the one Sunday I don't go and he shows up." (Source: "The Second Book of Catholic Jokes", by Deacon Tom Sheridan)

Seeing God
In Mathematics And Statistics

The Enrichment of Faith and the Increase of Knowledge in Mathematics and Statistics

Joke Of The Week